The Root
I was asking myself the other day where the root of all of my experiences lie. So many lessons I have been learning recently have been coming together with a very familiar theme and I stopped for a minute to take it all in. I’ve read so many pages of my astrology and my human design to study who I am and what I am called to do here and often they seem so unclear and questions are constantly popping up around them. I’ll have an experience and say to myself, “Is this it? Is this what I am here to do?” but lately there’s been a trend.
This trend of experiences and lessons within them had me take a step back and look at my life as a whole. This theme runs way deeper than just the past few experiences I have had. This theme runs throughout my entire life. It hit me that I finally found the root. Who I show up as is determines on how I handle the experiences in my life. There are many different versions of me and as I become more aware of this I tend to grow closer to the ones that encourage the best in my life. If who I show up as determines my experiences than it is me and only me that decides who I am in the moment.
I dug a little deeper with this thought. If I am the one who decides who I am and how I experience these moments then why do I respond differently? Wouldn’t I always want to best experiences and choose who I show up as if I could? Why can’t I? These questions sunk in to my soul and just like the sound a retractable pen makes, it clicked.
How I take care of myself, how I love myself, how I nurture myself is the determining factor of who I show up as in the moment. Am I taking care of this body I am in? Am I taking care of this mind? This soul? The environment in which this body lives? Am I creating messes and leaving them behind to weigh on me or remind me that I’m not good enough? Am I taking ownership of the choices I am making? Am I proud of the things I am doing?
Self care has been a catalyst to me becoming a better version of myself in so many ways. After my world came crumbling down, I realized I took care of everyone but myself and this body, mind, soul, was dying inside. I finally started taking care of myself and my experiences outside of me have grown tremendously. I am so much happier than I was before because I chose to love myself more. I chose to figure out how to take care of myself and that alone has taken care of so many things outside of me.
The root of who we are in our experiences, is who we show up as. How are you showing up for you?