The Root
I was asking myself the other day where the root of all of my experiences lie. So many lessons I have been learning recently have been coming together with a very familiar theme and I stopped for a minute to take it all in. I’ve read so many pages of my astrology and my human design to study who I am and what I am called to do here and often they seem so unclear and questions are constantly popping up around them. I’ll have an experience and say to myself, “Is this it? Is this what I am here to do?” but lately there’s been a trend.
Red Room
The more I live in this body and experience these experiences, the more I understand who I am and what works best for me. I spent the first 30 years of my life figuring out what isn’t write for me, and I am now spending many years going forward figuring out what does. I now understand how to take care of myself in ways I’ve never experienced before. I now understand how to communicate in ways I have never experienced before. I now understand how to set and hold boundaries in ways I have never experienced before. It is incredible what life will teach you if you are willing to listen…
Diving Deeper
With each new day it feels like I am diving deeper into myself. I have dedicated so much time and energy into understanding who I am as a unique individual. I’ve been releasing the old versions of me, the virtual assistant who did everything for everyone but nothing for herself, the mom of three who juggled all the things, the wife who spent all her time trying to make things perfect, and so many more versions that feel like lifetimes ago.
Observe Before Respond
I’m being reminded today to observe before I respond. There are so many scenarios in this house where I have the opportunity to respond to what the kids are doing in a way that would look like teaching from anyone outside. What I am recognizing is that sometimes when I step in and help or teach prior to allowing them to problem solve I sometimes create more problems rather than solve them.
Celebrating Me
Birthdays as an adult has always been such an elusive thing for me. I’ve always understood celebrating the kids birthdays because my own childhood was filled with great memories there, but as an adult it always felt like something was off about celebrating myself.
Blindfolded
I’m sitting with this idea of what it has been like to be living my life up until this point and recognizing it’s a lot like being blindfolded. Because my eyes were covered, my other senses were picking things up constantly and doing their best to decipher what was actually happening but the full truth or what was really going on was never quite available.
My Community
Community keeps showing up in my astrology and my cards. I sit with a kid like wonder about this quite often as we are going through a time in this world where connection seems limited and there has been such a pull for me to take a step back from communities both online and in person.
Fully Supported
Have you ever walked into a place knowing that what you would be facing could be a difficult scenario? I woke up today knowing that this could be me and did my best to stay grounded and in a place of trusting the universe to hold me and guide me exactly where I needed to be.
Fear vs Love
I had a vision of Payton coming up to me to sit in my lap. She wanted to connect and be in my energy. Max followed quickly behind but a fear of sharing me filled her little body and she resisted allowing Max into the space.
Mind Meditation
I am noticing in my meditation, what a pull my mind has to try and find things and topics to work on that would be me initiating and creating frustration for myself. It wanted me to sort all of Paytons books into categories, which to my emotional center feels like something I’d proud of.
Humanities Timing
My astrology readings, card pulls, and humanities timing has been colliding around this shift into the individual self. For me, it’s been showing signs about my work changing, becoming clear, my connections with my inner communities building and collaborating.